1. What if I am not comfortable with the gender I was given at birth?

If you are not comfortable with your gender assigned at birth, you may be transgender or non-binary. One way to explore your gender identity is through gender expression, to find out what makes you feel most comfortable. In this way, you may learn what feels good on the outside and better understand how you feel inside. Sometimes, other people’s experiences can help you understand what you are feeling and experiencing. It can also help to talk about it with someone you trust. And of course, you can always chat with one of us to process your thoughts and feelings or just to tell someone your story.

2. What do gender identity, gender expression, transgender, and non-binary mean?

Gender Identity: Your gender or gender identity is about how you feel inside. There are different gender identities such as: man, woman, non-binary, agender, demigender, androgyne, genderfluid, etc.

Transgender: When your gender identity does not match the gender you were assigned at birth.

Non-binary: You do not identify with either the binary genders, such as boy/girl or man/woman. You may fall outside of them, in between, or feel like a combination of both. Or you may experience non-binary as a more fluid form of gender, flowing between two or many genders.

Gender expression: Is the way you express yourself to others, like what you show the world. It can be pronouns, the name you use, what clothing you wear, how you behave or act, hair style or voice. Gender expression and gender do NOT have to match, and even if you express yourself one way, it does not mean your gender identity has changed or isn’t real or valid.

You can check out the Gender Wiki to read more about these, and other words related to gender.

3. How do I explain what non-binary is?

It can be difficult to put into words what being non-binary means for yourself, let alone explain it to someone else. We have a book recommendation— and who knows? You may learn something about yourself. Alok Vaid-Menon wrote a book called ‘Beyond the Gender Binary’. In the book, Alok challenges the world to see gender not in black and white, but in full color. Taking from their own experiences as a gender-nonconforming artist, they show us that gender is a malleable and creative form of expression. The only limit is your imagination.

Do you have any tips of your own? Let us know via [email protected]

1. How do I tell my parent(s)/guardian(s) or school that I am transgender or non-binary?

It can be very exciting to tell your parents that you are transgender or non-binary. The best way to come out is different for everyone. No matter how you come out, it is important to choose a way that makes you feel comfortable and safe. When you come out is completely your choice as well. For example, you could choose to tell them in a letter or with a video. We are here for you if you’re not sure how you want to come out, and will help you figure it out. You can reach us by chatting or calling or emailing.

3. How do I explain what non-binary is?

It can be difficult to put into words what being non-binary means for yourself, let alone explain it to someone else. We have a book recommendation— and who knows? You may learn something about yourself. Alok Vaid-Menon wrote a book called ‘Beyond the Gender Binary’. In the book, Alok challenges the world to see gender not in black and white, but in full color. Taking from their own experiences as a gender-nonconforming artist, they show us that gender is a malleable and creative form of expression. The only limit is your imagination.

Do you have any tips of your own? Let us know via [email protected]

1. What is a social and/or medical transition?

Social transition is the social process in which you, as a transgender or non-binary person, start living as the gender you really are. For example, think about what name and pronouns you would like to be addressed with, hair style and clothing, use of restrooms and locker rooms, and so on!

A medical transition consists of medical treatments that help a transgender or non-binary person align their body with their gender identity. This is a process that always goes through such things as a psychologist and other health professionals. Examples include hormone inhibitors, hormone therapy and surgery.

2. Which healthcare providers can I register with?

You can use the ‘transgender wegwijzer (wayfinder)’ (only in Dutch) to see which gender-related healthcare providers there are in the Netherlands.

In addition, gender-related healthcare in the Netherlands is rapidly changing. New clinics or treatment options are always in development, so please ask ahead of time with a practitioner what treatments are offered and what you can expect.

3. What do I need to do to register with a healthcare provider?

In order to register for treatment, it is important that you have a referral from your GP or from a mental healthcare specialist. When you register, make sure you are well informed about waiting times for consultation/treatment, because they can take a long time and change quickly.

4. What happens once I have signed up with a healthcare provider?

When you have registered with a practitioner, there will always be an intake interview. Then a treatment program will follow that consists of several phases (diagnostics, hormones, operations). Many practitioners have different procedures and may not perform surgery themselves. Check with the doctor whether they have a contract with a hospital that will perform an operation, or whether you will have to re-register there.

Also, the treatment plan depends on how old you are. To ensure you understand the process it is best to look at the website of the practitioner or contact them directly. The process can also be different for each person and depends on your own wishes, and the time needed to make the right decisions. For example, you can see what treatment at the Amsterdam UMC looks like here.

5. The waiting times are very long, can I get my turn earlier?

Unfortunately it is often not possible to get to your appointment any earlier. What you can do is contact different therapists to find out what their waiting times are. In the meantime you can look at what possibilities there are to at least start a social transition for yourself.

6. What are the effects and side effects of hormones?

When taking hormones there can be different effects and possible side effects. It is difficult to estimate what and when the effects will become noticeable to you. Everyone’s body reacts differently and the possible side effects are also different for each individual. You can find more information about the effects and possible side effects on the website of Transvisie. And, of course you can always discuss the possible side effects with your doctor or pharmacy.

7. Where can I buy binders, tops, panty liners, (breast)prostheses, swimwear etc.?

In the Netherlands you can find these products at Danaë and Paxsies. See the Transvisie website for more information. When buying these products, it is very important to inform yourself about what you are buying, what the quality is, and especially how to use it safely.

1. How do I tell the person I am dating that I am transgender or non-binary?

It can be incredibly nerve-wracking to tell someone you’re dating that you are trans or non-binary. And there is no one right way to do it. It is very important that you are ready and feel safe to share. On Sense’s website you can find more information on how to handle coming out to your partner, and some prompts to help you think over how to feel best prepared for the experience. And of course you can always come to us with your questions about this too!

1. My parents (or family) are religious and I am afraid they will not accept me. What can I do?

It can be very scary to think your family will not accept you as you are. You can also always reach out to us about your family to ask all your questions or to just have a compassionate listening ear. We understand that there are certain things in life where it is nicer to talk to people who have the same religion or cultural background as you. As much as we would like to, you won’t be able to guarantee you’ll speak with someone who shares your cultural background or experiences. But there are other places where you can go for answers to your questions, and be able to meet other young people with your same background. Transvisie organizes a meeting group for this. You can also go to Respect2Love, Holybe, or Maruf.

1. What can I do if I’m discriminated against?

There are several organizations, agencies or other places you can turn to. Take a look at the website of Transvisie for more information about discrimination and what you can do. You can also report discrimination to the Transgender Netwerk Nederland. Good to know: There is a special department for the LGBT+ community within the police. This department is called ‘Roze in Blauw (Pink in Blue)’ and you can contact them if you have to deal with discrimination, threats, abuse or other criminal matters related to your sexual orientation or gender identity. Would you like to speak to someone from Roze in Blauw? Call 088-1691234, or in case of emergency call 112.

1. How can I get in touch with other young people who are Queer/questioning, transgender, and/or non-binary?

Transvisie organizes several meet-ups.You can also look on the transgender wegwijzer to see if there are any meetings in your area. Are you under 18? Then you can also go to Jong&Out. They also have an app you can download on your phone. It’s a place where young people under 18 can safely meet peers who are LGBTIQ+. Jong&Out can be just that extra bit of support.

1. I would like to know about other transgender or non-binary persons’ journey and experience. Where can I find these stories?

During your own journey, it can sometimes help to read personal stories from others on a similar path. It’s fascinating to read how another person’s process or transition went: to see how they grew into who they are today. These can be stories of transgender or non-binary individuals or people close to them. On Transvisie’s website you can find a page with some personal stories.

1. What TV shows, documentaries, movies, books or podcasts are out there on topics such as gender, gender diversity, gender identity, gender expression, transgender or non-binary?

Genderpraatjes has teamed up with Netflix to create the viewing guide for LGBTIQ+ folks: ‘jij bent nu te zien‘. Though the ‘kijkgids’ is in Dutch, it includes titles performed in English as well, and of course the possibility to put subtitles in a language familiar to you. The Viewing Guide is a collection of movies and series that represent trans and non-binary people in a positive way.

For even more TV shows and documentaries, you can also check out Geslacht, Genderbende, Hij is een Zij, and Selfmade man, among others. For movies, you have Three Generations and Petite Fille, among others.

On YouTube you can watch the Transketeers and Kutmannen.

You also have the website Queerboeken where you can find a great list of wonderful books about being LGBTIQ+! You can listen to the list of different podcasts on Spotify here.

Transvisie has also made a really nice list with recommendations that you can find here.